SHAH ALAM – Years of cultural conditioning have taught Malaysian men to suppress their emotions, leaving many vulnerable to depression, addiction and even self-harm, mental health experts warn.
Malaysian Society of Clinical Psychology president Joel Low said men are often raised to believe they must remain stoic and in control at all times, a belief that can become dangerous when emotional pressure builds without an outlet.
"It's like a pressure cooker without a release valve.
"Give it enough pressure and eventually the cooker explodes and that’s probably one of the biggest reasons why there are more men that successfully take their own lives," he told Sinar Daily.
Low said open conversations can play a vital role in undoing these deep-rooted beliefs.
By encouraging honest conversations about mental wellbeing, he said men are offered healthier alternatives to the rigid "right way to be male" narrative they have long internalised.
He emphasised that unreserved, awareness-raising dialogue can challenge these old perceptions and help men recognise that seeking support is both positive and necessary.
Low stated that significant and sudden changes in a person’s behaviour, particularly any departure from their usual patterns, should be treated as early warning signs.
"A sudden shift from someone’s usual behaviour is an early warning signal. It’s a cue for us to ask what’s going on and offer support," he added.
Meanwhile, psychologist, suicidologist and Malaysian Psycho Spiritual Well-being Association deputy chairman Dr Adnan Omar echoed these concerns, saying many men confuse mental toughness with masculinity.
"Expressions of empathy, crying, asking for help, reaching out and talking things out are associated with femininity and weakness.
"It’s toxic masculinity, the belief that appearing tough makes men more dominant, in control and powerful," he said when contacted.
Dr Adnan said men who attempt to maintain a façade of strength often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms instead, including overworking, social withdrawal, substance abuse or sudden emotional outbursts.
Some may self-medicate through drinking, smoking or even excessive exercise, while others delay or refuse professional help altogether.
He emphasised that mental disorders present similarly in both men and women, but men tend to mask their symptoms more effectively. This, he said, increases the risk of issues going unnoticed until they escalate.
Dr Adnan also explained that the path towards self-harm or suicide is rarely sudden.
He said feelings of hopelessness, believing the future will not get better and helplessness, where someone feels unsupported and alone, often build up over years and can eventually lead to emotional paralysis that pushes a person towards crisis.
"Helplessness is when we feel that nobody cares anymore, nobody wants to help and life becomes completely alone. We feel that we no longer have social support.
"The combination between hopelessness and helplessness creates an absolute emotional paralysis and nothingness that may propel individuals towards suicide," he said.
However, he stressed that these developments offer multiple opportunities for early intervention.
Simple, honest conversations, he said, can be the first step in breaking the silence and restoring a sense of connection and support.