Dating has gained a bad rep in the age of smartphones, confined to dating apps, likes, swipes and multiple talking stages. Some are frustrated, swearing off dating completely, condemning the popular saying ‘plenty of fish in the sea’ with the ‘sea itself is polluted’. But is the situation as dreary as it seems? Turns out there's still hope, a ray of light beyond the casual, hookup culture.
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A study published in the Journal of Personal Relationships which was published online on Jan 2025, revealed that the young generation is still finding love in the old-fashioned way.
Old-fashioned dating still exists in digital age
The study included researchers from the University of Illinois. They looked at how college students described romantic relationships. What they did was compare how students describe romantic relationships, a decade apart, 2012 and 2022, to understand the changes. However, they are almost similar. It shows that digital tools may have shaped the approach of romance, but not how romance unfolds. Even the students described that they didn't place tech at the centre of their romantic lives. Technology did improve communication, texting or calling, but it does not dictate how love develops. The college students explained how most romantic relationships first begin as friendship.
Four phases of romance
The study based on how romance was described categorised it into 4 main stages. All four phases were present in the romantic journey of 2012 as well as 2022. Here are the four phases as shared by the researchers:
- Flirtionship: This is the initial phase where they get to know someone. But they are not dating yet as they are figuring out the chemistry. Here, they may flirt or talk a lot, either in person or online.
- Relationship potential: They start to spend more time together, but are not a couple officially. Still testing out waters to see potential. They start going on dates to understand if it can be real.
- In a relationship: Here's when they become official and call each other girlfriend/boyfriend/partner. They meet friends and family. During this phase, they also physically and emotionally grow close.
- Commitment or bust: At this stage, the couple evaluates long-term potential of the connection. They either commit to a future together or decide to break up. This phase may include serious commitments like marriage.
So, technology didn’t necessarily intervene in romance’s path, but instead only improved communication. The bottom line is that dating isn’t dead or broken. Maybe it’s a little different, but even now, the younger generation still cares about old-school romance, figuring it out one step at a time, just like 10 years ago.
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice.