Marriage often involves compromise, patience, and choosing which battles to fight. Over time, many partners learn to hold back certain feelings to maintain peace. In a December 16 Instagram post, one woman named Danielle Boudreau, children’s book author and mom of 2, reveals 6 honest things she wishes she could say to her husband without worrying about his reaction. (Also read: 12 'good break up lines' found on Reddit: 'You’re my soulmate but I’m not yours' )
“My husband and I have actually talked through every single thing in here. This isn’t a husband-bashing post. I love my husband, our relationship and our family dynamic. This is just me being honest. Because even in a strong, supportive partnership… motherhood can still feel heavy and inequitable.” Danielle wrote in the caption.
What everyday moments trigger hidden frustrations in relationship
“My instinctive feeling when you start feeling sick is not sympathy. It’s ‘Are you joking? I don’t have time for this,’” she wrote, highlighting the mental load many partners carry while juggling daily responsibilities. She added, “It makes me feel angry when I’m scrambling to get out the door, and you’re sitting on the couch relaxing instead of also scrambling.”
Food decisions, she admitted, can also become a source of frustration. “When I ask what you want for supper and you say ‘anything,’ but then comment, ‘spaghetti again?’ it makes me want to throw the box of spaghetti at you,” Danielle shared.
Boudreau also opened up about feelings of imbalance in parenting duties. “It makes me feel jealous and resentful when you get to relax and watch TV with our oldest while I chase around our toddler.”
How unequal parenting adds to emotional burnout
Night-time parenting is another moment she wishes she could address openly. “When the baby wakes up in the night and you don’t offer to go, I feel pissed. Even though I want to go myself, I still want you to wake up and offer. Suffer with me,” she wrote candidly.
Even small moments of personal space feel unequal, she added. “It irritates me when you go to the bathroom without interruption for like 20 minutes, and I can’t even change my tampon without both kids banging on the door.”
Summing up her feelings, Boudreau wrote, “Sometimes, I feel frustrated that I’m the default parent. I wish you’d feel what it’s like so you understand. But then again, I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
Her post has resonated with many parents online, sparking conversations around mental load, shared responsibility, and the unspoken emotions that exist in everyday relationships. One user wrote, “Omg THIS!!! Every single thing you said, I feel so much!!” Another added, “‘I want you to suffer with me’—soon-to-be ex-wives in a nutshell.” A third commented, “I appreciate the honesty! And I appreciate even more that y’all are able to talk about it in truth and in love,” while another shared, “All of this!!! You’re not alone, girl! Hahah.”
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