Children are like sponges, soaking up everything they see, hear, and experience around them. As parents, we strive to provide opportunities that will set them on a path towards success. Yet, in our busy modern lives, some seemingly harmless habits can quietly undermine our children’s intellectual growth without us realising it. Cognitive scientists and child development experts have warned about four common parenting practices that can negatively affect children’s IQ and hold them back from reaching their full potential. Exploring these can empower us to make small but powerful changes in our daily routines.
Overuse Of Screens And Digital Devices
Screens are everywhere – televisions, smartphones, tablets, and computers offer an endless stream of entertainment and information. It’s tempting to use these digital devices to soothe, occupy, or even educate our young ones. However, research reveals that the overuse of screens, especially in children under six, is linked to lower language development, memory issues, and diminished problem-solving skills.
The reason lies in what screens replace: interactive play and face-to-face communication. Childhood is a crucial period for brain wiring, especially for areas related to language and executive functioning. When children spend more time passively consuming content rather than engaging with real people and the physical world, their brains miss out on the stimulation they need. Studies from organisations such as the American Academy of Paediatrics recommend limiting screen time for young children and instead encouraging hands-on activities, imaginative play, and reading aloud together.
It is not just the amount of time but also the quality of content consumed. Fast-paced, hyper-stimulating videos can overload young brains, making it harder for them to concentrate. On the flip side, educational content watched together and discussed with a parent can become a tool for learning, showing that mindful use of digital media is key.
Oversheltering And Preventing Risk-Taking
Every parent wants to protect their child from harm, both physical and emotional. Yet, constantly stepping in to shield children from every challenge or risk robs them of opportunities to develop critical thinking and problem-solving skills. Psychologists refer to this as “helicopter parenting” — a tendency to hover over children and control their environment.
When children are allowed to tackle manageable risks — such as climbing a tree, negotiating a disagreement with a friend, or attempting a tricky puzzle — they learn to navigate uncertainty. These experiences help scaffold their executive functioning skills: planning, decision-making, and self-regulation. In contrast, children whose parents intervene at every misstep may develop a fear of failure, indecisiveness, and a decreased ability to cope with challenges. Crucially, repeated practice with problem-solving is associated with higher IQ scores and better academic performance later on.
So, while it’s important to provide a safe environment, the most effective parents strike a balance between protection and promoting independence. Encouraging children to try new things and embrace occasional failure teaches resilience and cultivates the critical reasoning skills that form the backbone of intellectual growth.
Habitual Multitasking And Lack Of Presence
Modern family life is often a juggling act. Parents are busy, and multitasking can seem like the only way to get things done. This sometimes results in parents being physically present but emotionally or cognitively distant — scrolling through devices, sending emails, or planning chores during precious time with their children.
While it might seem innocent, studies have shown that children’s brain development is powerfully shaped by “serve-and-return” interactions — those back-and-forth exchanges where a child says or does something, and the adult responds with interest. These responsive interactions build neural connections vital for language, attention, and emotional control. When daily routines are dominated by distraction, this critical “brain-building” is short-circuited.
Parents who offer undivided attention, even in short moments — sharing a laugh at breakfast, reading a bedtime story, or really listening to a child’s endless questions — help form the solid cognitive foundations children need. The message here is not perfection, but quality: a few minutes of wholehearted presence can be more valuable than hours of distracted supervision.
Unknowingly Discouraging Curiosity And Questions
Questions are a child’s gateway to understanding the world. However, the daily onslaught of “why”, “how”, and “what if” can, over time, become exhausting for parents. Many unconsciously discourage curiosity by giving dismissive answers (“because I said so”), brushing off difficult topics, or steering conversations back to adult concerns.
Repeated discouragement can sap a child’s natural drive to explore, experiment, and think critically — all hallmarks of high cognitive ability. Studies connecting parental feedback to IQ development consistently emphasise the importance of supporting children’s inquisitiveness, even if it means taking a moment to say, “That’s an interesting question; let’s find out together.” In households where questions and debates are welcomed, children tend to develop higher verbal intelligence, better reasoning skills, and the confidence to engage with complex ideas.
Allowing children to take the lead in conversation, following their interests, and expressing genuine curiosity yourself can have surprisingly powerful effects. Even if you don’t have all the answers, modelling a love of learning can inspire children to seek knowledge throughout their lives.
Everyday parenting habits are often formed by love, convenience, and the pressures of modern life. Yet, by becoming more aware of the impact the smallest interactions can have, we can make everyday changes that nurture our children's brains. Putting down the phone, encouraging risk, tuning into curiosity, and setting thoughtful limits around technology can set our children on the path to not just higher IQ, but deeper, more meaningful learning. The potential for cognitive growth is within reach — often in the simplest shifts in how we connect with those little sponges learning about the world around them.