Every parent dreams of equipping their children with the emotional skills needed to thrive in a complex world. Yet between homework battles, playground politics, and digital distractions, nurturing emotional intelligence can seem daunting. Enter the playful approach: “Feel It, Face It, Fix It”—a practical, fun strategy to help kids build robust emotional muscles from the inside out.
The Science Behind Emotional Muscles
Just as children flex their physical muscles on the playground, they need to flex their emotional “muscles” to grow strong from within. Scientists call this emotional intelligence, and studies show that children who can identify and manage their feelings perform better academically, maintain healthier relationships, and bounce back faster from challenges.
Did you know? Research from Yale’s Centre for Emotional Intelligence found that youngsters taught emotional skills were 11% more likely to excel socially and academically—a powerful reminder that feelings matter as much as facts.
Feel It: Encouraging Emotional Awareness
The first step—Feel It—is about helping kids notice, name, and normalise their emotions. Stifling feelings can lead to frustration or behaviour outbursts, but giving children language and permission to express what’s inside helps them become comfortable in their own skin.
Playful strategies for “feeling it” might include:
- Emotional charades: Take turns acting out feelings—like excitement, disappointment, or jealousy—for others to guess.
- The feelings wheel: Use a fun chart to help children find just the right word for their mood.
- Mood journaling: Encourage little ones to draw or write about their emotions every day.
When kids learn to recognise feelings are just signals, not flaws, they’re more likely to turn inward curiosity into outward confidence.
Face It: Tackling Emotions With Confidence
Next comes the “Face It” stage—supporting children in bravely confronting their feelings, not running from them. Avoiding tough moments only makes them bigger in imagination. When children practise sitting with discomfort, they discover resilience and resourcefulness inside themselves.
Try:
- The “Brave Minute”: Set a timer for one minute to simply sit with their feeling—no talk, no distraction, just noticing.
- Story swaps: Share stories (real or fictional) about characters who face big emotions and what they do next.
- Comfort corners: Create a soft, soothing space at home with pillows, favourite books, or sensory toys where kids can visit to regroup.
Remind children: “It’s OK to feel sad, scared, or angry—everyone does sometimes. Facing it is the first step to moving through it.”
Fix It: Problem-Solving For Emotional Growth
Finally, the “Fix It” phase channels self-awareness into action. Rather than “fixing” feelings as if they’re broken, it’s about asking: What can I do about this?
Empowering children to address their emotions boosts self-esteem and teaches lifetime coping skills:
- Brainstorm together: Ask, “What are three things we could try to feel better or solve this problem?”
- “If-then” plans: Help them plan responses, e.g., “If I feel nervous at school, then I will take three deep breaths.”
- Celebration jars: Use a jar to collect notes about emotions they’ve faced and strategies they’ve tried—turning challenges into small triumphs.
The goal isn’t a life free from difficult emotions, but a toolbox full of ways to handle them.
Building Emotional Muscles: A Lifelong Adventure
Teaching kids to “Feel It, Face It, Fix It” isn’t a one-time lesson, but a playful adventure in self-discovery and growth. Through daily practice, patience, and plenty of laughter, children can build the emotional muscles they need for life’s ups and downs.
As parents, what playful rituals or strategies might you try next? How can you make emotional growth as natural—and joyful—as kicking a football or singing a silly song? The journey to emotional strength begins with a single, curious step: What feeling will you help your child explore today?