A parenting discussion online has triggered a wave of comments after one mother pushed back against what she called “completely wrong” advice she hears repeatedly, including suggestions to “let them cry it out” or to “never wake a sleeping baby.”
The mom said she had found the opposite approach worked better for her child and asked others what standard parenting rules they had abandoned—and what they did instead.
The Reddit responses poured in, revealing a familiar tension many parents describe: the gap between conventional wisdom and lived experience. While some advice is framed as universal, many parents said rigid rules often fail to account for individual children, family situations or cultural differences.
‘How dare I’
A contributor rejected the long-standing idea that too much affection creates dependency.
“Holding a baby will spoil it. Like huh? Caring, loving and cuddling my baby will spoil her? That’s MADNESS. How dare I love my baby,” the contributor wrote.
Several pundits shared similar views, noting that constant closeness—often made easier with fabric wraps or soft baby carriers that allow caregivers to keep infants close while staying hands-free—helped soothe their children and reduced stress for everyone involved.
Products like fabric wraps and baby harnesses have grown in popularity as more parents lean into attachment-focused caregiving.
Another common flashpoint in the thread was feeding choices, particularly the pressure parents feel to justify how they nourish their babies.
“Mine is just criticizing my every choice like I can’t be a good mom on my own,” a parent remarked.
“Ones that have irritated me most are people combating my choices to breastfeed… I am always perplexed by people saying ‘just give him a bottle and use formula,’” the parent continued.
Unnecessary Anxiety
The comment sparked a broader discussion about how parents mix and match breastfeeding bottles and formula depending on what works for their body schedules and babies—often using a combination of breastfeeding supplies, baby bottles or infant formula without seeing any single option as a failure.
Potty training was another area where parents said conventional timelines and methods created unnecessary anxiety.
“Pretty much everything to do with potty training,” a critic declared.
“I just think people have turned potty training into a much bigger and scarier thing than it needs to be and rely too much on one-size-fits-all advice.”
Others shared experiences of following their child’s cues instead of strict schedules sometimes using child-sized potty training products to make the process feel less intimidating.
Experts say this friction between advice and instinct is not new.
“Parents are bombarded by the message that any failure on their part may mess their kids up for life,” according to a Forbes article examining how modern parenting culture amplifies pressure and conflicting guidance.
At the same time managing unsolicited advice can be as challenging as deciding what to follow.
“It is common to feel somewhat insecure or uncertain about your parenting practices as a new parent,” according to Mahmee, a maternal health platform that advises parents to selectively filter outside input.
For many in the lively Reddit thread, the takeaway was not that all advice is useless, but that flexibility matters. Discarding rigid rules made room for approaches that actually fit their child—something no universal guideline can fully predict.
Newsweek has reached out to Ladiejuliy for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
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