Here we go again. It’s Valentine’s Day, the annual global showcase of public displays of affection, overpriced flowers, SRO restaurants, overbooked motels, and the crushing realization that you’re either part of the in-love crowd or lurking in the single-and-loving-it corner.
It’s a day that celebrates romance, yes, but also reminds us that love, in all its awkward, hilarious, and occasionally exasperating glory, is a universal experience, whether you’re in a stable relationship or merely enjoying your own YOLO moment, or embracing diverse expressions of love, including friendships, self-love, and inclusivity. Valentine’s Day is woke.
As a man who’s been there and done that, I feel qualified to weigh in on this uniquely absurd cultural and commercial phenomenon.
Let’s talk about the Philippines first, where Valentine’s Day is practically a national sport. We’re talking mass weddings sponsored by the local government, parks littered with couples holding hands or outright making out, and enough red roses offered at quadruple their usual price. Pro tip: Order your flowers from Dangwa way in advance and just pick them up on V-Day from your suking florist.
We can’t overlook the curious case of cars, cabs, and motorcycles queuing outside motels on Valentine’s Day. The audacity is both impressive and hilarious. You’d think they’d at least pick a less conspicuous day for their shenanigans, but no, February 14 is apparently the Super Bowl of that promised rendezvous, announcing to the whole neighborhood, “I’m getting some tonight (or this afternoon, if the need is urgent)!”
Fortunately, I think — or I’d like to believe — that millennials still see the romance in this annual lovefest. The difference is that they are wont to treat Valentine’s Day like a highly curated Instagram event: It’s not enough to have dinner with your date; you need the perfect lighting, the right angle, and a catchy caption like, “He asked for my heart, so I gave him my whole self.” Here’s hoping they learned something from those boring sex ed lectures in high school or from the controversial Senate Bill No. 1979 as much as they did from Salt-N-Pepa’s catchy 1991 single, Let’s Talk About Sex.
Now, the Gen Zs and Alphas have entered the fray. If their Ates amd Kuyas are still trying to find balance between digital and analog romance, these kids have taken love entirely online. For Gen Zs, love is a meme, a TikTok trend, and occasionally, a reason to fight in the comment section of a K-drama or K-Pop fan page. They’re more likely to express their affection via BeReal or by sending a Spotify playlist that screams, “I love you, but here’s what I listen to so don’t mess this up.”
Meanwhile, the Alphas (the oldest of whom are barely teenagers) are growing up in a world where AI might write their love letters. They’re already decoding the science of love through algorithm-based matchmaking apps before they’ve even had their first face-to-face kilig moment.
Stepping back from the generational drama, Valentine’s Day around the world is no less ridiculous than it is here, although each culture adds its own special flair.
In Japan, for example, women give men chocolates. This I discovered when I studied in Tokyo decades ago. I can’t tell if it’s female empowerment or just sneaky cost-cutting devised by men.
Then there’s Korea, where February 14 is just part of a trilogy of love-centric holidays, with White Day on March 14 (men return the favor to women) and Black Day on April 14 (singles eat black bean noodles to mourn their romantic ineptitude).
In America, Valentine’s Day is basically a Hallmark explosion — commercialized, expensive, and emotionally exhausting. But at least they’ve mastered the concept of Galentine’s Day, a self-aware, feminist celebration of single gals’ supremacy over heart-shaped nonsense.
While in Europe, supposedly Valentine’s birthplace — its origins can be traced to the Roman fertility festival of Lupercalia and the Christian martyrdom of St. Valentine, later romanticized in the Middle Ages by poets like Chaucer — Valentine’s Day seems more understated, perhaps because they’ve figured out that every day can be romantic as long as you have wine, cheese, and stunning architecture.
And then there’s me. Being a married man, you’d think I’d be off the hook for dramatic displays of affection. I’m not. Like a seasoned athlete at a fun run, I know the terrain, I’ve clocked in years of experience, but there’s still pressure to perform. As such, I’m fully aware of the basics: flowers, gifts, and dinner dates.
After more than 30 years of marriage, celebrating Valentine’s with my wife hasn’t changed much and yet it has also evolved. Forget the cliché bouquets of roses (I only gave her whites) that wither in days. Now, she prefers potted ones, the kind that can be planted in the garden and enjoyed much longer, especially once they bloom anew.
As for presents, my wife likes them “meaningful,” which is wife-speak for “It better be both thoughtful and worth more than you spent on your last pair of shoes.” So I walk a fine line every year between extravagant (because I value my marriage) and cheap (because, well, I’m a cheapskate).
Now, about Valentine’s Day dinner. Most couples hunt for that unique romantic place, hoping to light up the night (and passion) with stolen glances and overpriced wine. My wife and I have raised the bar by staying home, never mind if it’s dinner or lunch. We sit down to a nice meal with our two grown-up kids instead of joining the throng of lovebirds out there. Besides, I don’t need to pay a premium to feel romantic when I’ve already got everything I love in one place — my Valentine, our kids, and the day-old adobo in the ref.
But the real pièce de résistance? The Valentine card. For years, I’ve been writing my beloved cheesy, heartfelt lines that continue the love letter tradition we started in our younger days. Last year, I managed to use “lies” and “precise” in the same line, and she still melted like butter on warm ensaymada, with a dash of eye-rolling. It’s the little things, bro.
Then again, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for wives. Let’s not forget the other women in a man’s life — mothers, sisters, daughters, even friends. These relationships may not come with candlelit dinners or handwritten poetry, but they deserve recognition nonetheless. A simple call, a thoughtful text, or a small gesture can go a long way in making them feel loved. I know my mom always appreciates hearing me say “I love you” on Valentine’s Day, or any day for that matter.
Speaking of relationships, let’s address the elephant in the room: Valentine’s Day isn’t exclusive to “licit” relations. Cads and philanderers have their own schedule, celebrating with their “other girl” on days “around Valentine’s” (but never on the 14th because, you know, plausible deniability).
For all its absurdities, Valentine’s Day boils down to this: a celebration of love in all its forms. Whether you’re cooing poetry for your wife, surprising your mom with a heartfelt call, or simply enjoying a quiet meal at home with your family, the day is what you make of it.
This Valentine’s Day, instead of merely getting it on like Marvin Gaye, or talking about “all the good things and the bad things that may be,” just remember the immortal words of the Beatles: “All you need is love.”