MANILA, Philippines — There is such a thing as a friendship breakup — and it can hurt just as bad as, sometimes even more than, a romantic breakup.
Sisterhood is a powerful force, but life’s changes can sometimes strain even the strongest bonds. People change. Friends outgrow each other. There will be instances that friends will come to a point that they will no longer see eye to eye, and this truth can sometimes be a bitter pill to swallow.
Just like romantic relationships, friendships can unexpectedly end, leaving individuals feeling hurt and lost. While it’s often easier to discuss the challenges of romantic breakups, the pain of losing a sister-like friend can be equally devastating.
Whether just only one party called it quits or it was a mutual decision, it is natural to experience a range of emotions. Healing takes time, and it is important to be gentle with oneself during this process.
Why do ‘friendship breakups’ happen
Friendships, like people, evolve. What once felt like a perfect match might change over time. Here are some common reasons why friendships change:
- Sometimes life happens. Taking on new jobs, building families, or even moving to a new city can create distance between friends. What was once a constant connection can slowly fizzle out. Bumble, the women-first dating and social networking app, revealed that more than 1 in 10 (12%) Filipinos surveyed find it harder to keep in touch and connect with friends since the beginning of the pandemic.
- Growing apart. As people grow and change, their priorities and interests may shift. What brought friends together initially might not be as central to their current lives. In fact, close to 1 in 5 (19%) Filipinos surveyed agreed that it is normal to grow out of friendships that no longer serve them in their current stage of life. For example, old friends might have been into hiking and traveling, but now one is more interested in sports and the other so engrossed in raising a family. This can sometimes lead to a mismatch where friendships no longer feel compatible.
- Communication challenges. Misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, or a lack of open communication can create distance. For instance, if one is hurt by something a friend said but does not address it, resentment can build over time.
Whatever the reason, one party is left with a void and the question arises: How does one move on?
On healing and moving forward
Overcoming the pain of a lost friendship requires time and self-care. Here are some tips to help one bounce back:
- Feel the feels. First things first: Acknowledge emotions. One might feel blindsided, angry, or deeply saddened. Grieve the loss of the friendship and allow that much-needed space for healing. Talk to a trusted confidante, write in a journal, or channel one's energy into a creative outlet.
- Reflect on friendship. Reflect on the lessons learned about oneself and the kind of friendships one craves. Maybe one needs someone who shares the same passions in life, or perhaps one who values open communication above all else.
- Practice self-care. Dust off those hobbies that were put on hold, take a long bubble bath, or reconnect with activities that bring joy. Surround oneself with positive people who are supportive and make one laugh.
- Build new bridges. Don’t be afraid to put oneself out there. Step outside of one's comfort zone, which can lead to unexpected and wonderful connections.
Finding new connections
In today's fast-paced world, finding genuine friendships can be challenging. According to the dating platform’s survey, more than half (68%) of Filipinos surveyed are keen to find new friends in their local area for the convenience of meeting up and doing things together, with more than one-third (36%) of Filipinos surveyed agreeing that making a new friend still positively impacts their mental health and wellbeing.
The survey also found out that a significant majority of people globally (74%) are actively seeking like-minded individuals to build their support network around. In fact, people are venturing into the realm of "digital" friendships with three out of five individuals surveyed stating that their numerous online activities have opened their minds to finding their Internet friends.
In 2023, Bumble Inc. announced the launch of Bumble For Friends, a standalone app for finding friends, available for download in the Philippines. The app creates a new way for people to grow their friendship circles by discovering meaningful, kind, and fun connections in their local area that is separate from the Bumble dating app.
Bumble For Friends is free to download and is available on the App Store and Google Play in the Philippines, as well as in Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, and the United States — with more regions to come soon.